Letter to My Younger Self

If you could write a letter to your younger self what would you say? What advice or encouragement would you give?. This post was inspired by: EvasReality– A lovely blog documenting her (Eva’s) reality, issues affecting women, money woes, etc. You can read her “Letter to My Younger Self” blog post here. This is dedicated to my younger self- child and teenage/early 20’s.

Dear Tiffany,

The first thing that I want you to know is- it wasn’t your fault. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were so young and scared and I’m so sorry you was not protected. Although you will never forget what happened, you can and you will begin to heal from it. Please know you are never alone and you are loved.

Your black is beautiful. YOU are beautiful.

I’m sorry society standards convinced you that your thick kinky hair isn’t good hair. I’m sorry that you went through years of hiding, perming, frying, and dying your hair. You will soon gain a sense of pride and transition it back to it’s natural state. A few edges less later, but you now possess the knowledge to teach your future sons or daughters to love their natural hair and how to care for it properly.

Perfection is unrealistic. It’s okay to not have it all figured out when you’re young. To be honest, you still don’t have it all figured out and that’s okay too. Allow yourself to fail sometimes (cause you will, a lot). It will make you stronger but don’t be so hard on yourself. Tough times never last, you will always make a comeback and things will work out for the greater good. God and the universe has a plan for you, have faith.

You cried many tears over past “lovers”. You swore you were so deeply, head-over-heels in love but I’m sorry to tell you beloved, it wasn’t love. Just teenage “love” affairs, infatuations, entanglements and ultimately, lessons learned.

I’m heavily side-eyeing your past taste in lovers too sis, but ima let you live. Always remember: if someone wants to leave, let them go. Even though they always came back, you were smart to never allow it. You never begged, chased (maybe jogged a little) or fought over someone and I’m proud of you for that. And I promise real love will find you when you least expect it, and you can’t reject it. *Cues ‘Let it Burn’ x Jasmine Sullivan* “that crazy little tingling feeling’!”

It’s okay to change your mind and say “NO”. “Because I don’t want to” is a damn good reason. You felt obligated to do certain things and stay in certain situations out of fear of upsetting and disappointing others. Fuck all that shit. I know you haven’t always been the best communicator. You’ve ghosted in the past, gave silent treatments, held grudges, and in result, lost out on something/someone great so please don’t let it happen again. You will begin speaking up for yourself, saying what you need, meaning what you say, and saying it with your chest.

It’s okay to be a quiet black girl. Many have tried to fill your silence with their opinions and assumptions, don’t believe them. You will grow confident, you will have knowledge of self and you will learn to understand your personality traits (and others). You are naturally reserved and introverted, own it!

Stop obsessing over your body image. I know how much you couldn’t stand being skinny and flat-chested. That “size zero” life was somethin’ else but you will definitely gain weight. You will have more than enough boobs, hips and booty. And you’re gunna wish that you had that flat stomach back.

Follow your dreams and if it makes you happy- DO IT, even if people don’t always support you. You don’t need to wait and seek validation all the time. Too many times, you’ve missed out on opportunities and allowed yourself to be crushed from rejection. Don’t you know you are more than enough?!

And please enjoy your youth!! Don’t be in such a rush to grow up cause adulting sucks ass. Have fun, take chances, explore, experiment, love hard, make mistakes, laugh, cry, scream, sing out loud, dance in the rain. Feel the fear and do it anyway (if it’s safe of course) cause we got a whole life to live.

Yours truly,


P.s- I like, really love you girl.

4 thoughts on “Letter to My Younger Self

  1. ☺ Glad to see ‘Tiffany’ has come a long way, just like a whole lot of us. Glad she isn’t wallowing in self pity and relishing in the pain of the past. Glad she has learnt, relearn and unlearnt.

    Great post, Tiffany

    Liked by 1 person

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